Here is a decidedly unfashionable post which i’vm writing because as much as I hate to admit this…. life is a lot more than #MochaChic’s amazing clothes & hair👇🤣.

Are We Investing Ourselves Too Much on Popular Opinion?

Ladies this has been on my mind a lot lately.
Especially as I’ve seen so many posts that evoke strong emotions and mostly in reference to relationships, especially marriage, cheating spouses and the repercussions there of.

So my overall observation is that too many of us deal with life issues according to the opinions of others. Whether you are the injured person or the one discussing an incident thats happened to a complete stranger and discussing it as if your own opinion matters.

First of all, I’m not sure what gives us the right first of all to have an opinion or say about someone else’s life. But everyday we are critiquing and analysing other people’s business and how they handle their life problems.

My empathy on this rests with the victim or the one going through the tragedy.

And if you are such a person I want you to know it is alright to handle things in which ever way feels best to you. Whether the next person will approve is none of your business. People suppressing their hurt and anger and their very human need to be vindicated is what is leading people to depression. Society dictates that we squash our pain and bury it deep, but we are not designed. the mind and body will find a way to react.

So just because the world agrees that you should be strong and endure or even dares to chant that you must forgive, feel under no pressure to succumb. Forgiveness is good for you, don’t get me wrong. In most cases we need to forgive ourselves and whoever else in order to move on. But I want encourage you to feel your pain first, allow yourself to be angry, allow yourself to grieve. Grief (mourning) is a very necessary process for your future well being, I believe that if we do not go through it we risk our own mental and emotional health, ego sadness moves to chemical imbalances and maybe depression, instead of just stopping at sadness..

I am always tellong myself, Wendy give yourself a break because, society expects a lot from women.

We are expected to endure things men would crumble over and everyone acts like there’s nothing to it.

We are expected to forgive things men would find unforgivable and move right on to being normal like we were not broken in the process.

So my conclusion is this:
Just because a whole lot of people (social media and even our social circles, acquaintances or friends) agree on a particular view does not mean it is the right or honourable or even humane way to think or do things.
So lets’s keep exercising our divinely given intellectual & moral autonomy when it comes to dealing with challenges in our own lives.
When you do that you soon realise that most of the ideas of the masses you may have adopted as your own lead to self sabotage. Those cannot in anyway lead to your growth.

And I am convinced that when we walk out of our pain we should have learnt something of ourselves, we should have gotten stronger, it should at the very least, have equipped us to move forward with more certainty of our abilities to overcome.

Love x light x Blessings,

Wendy Ewurum