Author: MochaQueen

The Self-Shaming called Body -Shaming

The Self-Shaming called Body -Shaming

Yazi society is changing so fast and us with it.
Things that we would all have previously found egregious and rightfully so, are now trending as the new fads.

I’m thinking about this “no #bodyshaming” movement.

The intention is a very good one and it has my full support but in my eyes it comes with a whole new set of problems too.
We need to be careful in sifting through the good and the not so good which can in the end bring more harm than benefits in our lives, especially as ladies.

I mean I get so completely confused when a size 40/42 (16/18) woman as big and as old as myself dresses like she’s a skinny 17 year old and then gets hurt, confounded and screams body shaming when people show disapproval or mock them.

Before your scream “Wendy you are being judgmental just hear me out”.

I believe there is a time, a place and season for all things under the sun including fashions. Personally I feel at 42 I cannot hope to recapture my teen years with skimpy dressing on a body that’s not so teen like. It’s true.

I’m reminded of last New Years Eve’s pool party that I attended.

Sometime after midnight these little girls arrived I assume with #blessers, 18 or less and they were the only ones that age…. one without a costume stripped to her cotton trainer like panties and bra and swam like that.

The first time I saw them was when I bumped into them in the ladies’ room.
My tongue was burning to lecture them about being nearly naked and hanging out with men that could be there fathers and grandfathers but I held it.
Now “my cotton panty child” was almost see through in those nickers and shivering from the cold but more than anything concerned about whether or not she looked sexy as uncomfortable as she felt and looked. Her friends of course, knowing how very bad she looked compared to them in their proper swim suits, blatantly lied saying how beautiful and decent she looked (‘hayii choma uright yaz’ talk). You could just see on her face the fight going on inside her because she knew deep down this was wrong and she was ashamed. But the posse’ was also looking convincing.

She turned to me and asked…sisi do I look fine?
I said to her…i think you need to get into your clothes or you gonna catch pneumonia and its not worth it. My look as our eyes locked told her “you look anything but fine”.

I felt for her, in fact my heart was sore watching how much she wanted to fit in and i was thinking… “this is such a fat girl syndrome”. I didn’t want to humiliate her when she so much craved approval and attention especially of her friends. I couldn’t say: “no you look cheap and desperate, you should be feeling like you do now…ashamed and insecure….?”.

And her battle was exactly what we do in the fat girl community.

Instead of facing the state of our health, our fears and insecurities head on, we run around looking for people to appease us, validate our worth and help us settle into this false sense of security. We buy into the lies of men who have “obese lover” fetishes, who tell us how sexy we are and how only real men can handle fat girls (no… curvy, thick, bbw) at the detriment of our bodies, allowing our health to decline prematurely.



Each year and with every kilogram we accumulate those high blood pressure digits, blood sugar levels increase, blood circulation decreases, water retention increases, flexibility and mobility is stunted. But that’s all alright, as long as we can find a hot pants we can squeeze into and #likes and #comments the equivalent of wolf whistles flood our posts, we will keep our excess weight thank you very much.

I remember so craving this kind of attention when I was a size 46/48. I needed someone to tell me I was attractive and sexy to justify not doing anything about my escalating weight. So what if I had aching joints and cracking knees, sugar induced migraines and extended periods spent hugging the “porcelain throne” when my body had, had enough abuse from my sugar cravings. I craved it despite the fact that even though I was told I was sexy, I couldn’t do my “wifely duties”, because I was just exhausted. I don’t even want to go into the depressed state I was in because I couldn’t handle going to stores and finding nothing that fit in “normal stores”.


I guess what I’m really getting to is that…

We, big ladies in particular, we need to be more in-powered.
Develop our internal locus of control to such degree that we will know when to cry body shaming and when we should be at utterly repulsed by our own self shaming tendencies. No one has the right to abuse another because of how much weight they do or do not carry. And we do ourselves a grave injustice looking to others to approve of us and dictate how we should feel.

Our greatest concern should be to enjoy the bodies we are blessed with and respect them enough to put in the time to make them the very best they can be. If that means moving my waist size from 48 to 40 and be happy there, then so be it, as long as I am in the fittest and healthiest state I can achieve. As long as I have not self imposed chronic medication in my life and constant prescriptions because of poor diet and lifestyle.

I want to teach my girls (whether they are thin or fat) to see the rare beauty there is in self confidence and know that it has nothing to do with how much flesh you show to the world. It’s a look that tells the world I know who I am, I know how sexy and how intelligent, how good and how kickass I am.

I know that I’m always more than enough without subjecting my body to scrutiny as a sex object for anyone’s approval. I say no to ” #selfshaming “.

Thank you for the visit and I hope you’ll drop a comment about this very sensitive topic.


Wendy Ewurum



Iaso Tea Benefits Lead To Good Health

Iaso Tea Benefits Lead To Good Health

What Are The Iaso Tea Benefits And Why Should You Be Drinking It?

Gosh I cannot tell you guys how much I love this tea. There is a long long list of benefits but that I want to share in this post but in my next one I’ll tell you exactly what it’s done for me. I have the most amazing health testimony because of #iasotea.

But back to the present topic, why should you be drinking #Iaso tea?

Number one is that it is a 100% #organic #detoxtea, which when consumed twice daily can help you get back on the road to good health.

Here are 26 Iaso Tea Benefits:

  • Reduces stress
    Reduces the risk of cancer
    Prevents cardiovascular diseases
    Combats the effects of aging
    Aids in weight loss
    Prevents wrinkles
    Reduces the risk of arthritis
    Strengthens your bones
    Helps lower cholesterol
    Prevents obesity
    Good for reducing diabetes
    Strengthens your memory
    Mitigates HIV
    Protects against Parkinsons
    Provides protection for your live
    Prevents high blood pressure
    Protects against food toxicity or poisoning
    Reduces the level of sugar in your blood
    Prevents cold and flu
    Aleviates asthma
    Combats ear infections
    Helps in herpes treatment
    Prevents cavities
    Removes parasites
    Stimulates your immune system
    Removes intestinal sludge

As you can see, IasoTea by Total Life Changes is instrumental is helping you to achieve good health. With 9 natural herbs, this 100% organic detox tea helps clean your bloodstream, your colon, level out your cardiovascular system and through gentle detox helps you to lose weight.

Most people who use this product lose 2.5 kilograms in 5 days, with the tummy being the most affected area. Yet as good as that sounds, the idea behind our tea is not beng #skinny but to be healthy and more #energised so that our bodies can cope with the daily rigors they are constantly subjected to.

Good health is worth it’s weight in gold.

I would encourage you to try this tea out, you will not regret it. If you go to the Total Life Changeswebsite you get 5 separate packs of the Iaso tea for the very affordable price of $55, the same price I buy it for.

If you need assistance with your order feel free to send me a #whatsapp message, id be more than happy to help: +27 813470530.

If you’ve already sampled the tea, I’d love to hear what you thought about it.

What significant changes did you see?

Have an awesome day!

Wendy Ewurum

Total Life Changes is Changing My Life

Total Life Changes is Changing My Life

I never thought I would find a network marketing product that I would be passionate about or that would work when using it without me having to convince myself that it is really really working. Then #Iaso tea just kinda happened along because of #Facebook and now… five weeks later i’m not only a user or an affiliate but have stepped up the first rung of an extremely profitable ladder to a #TotalLifeChanges #DIRECTOR **happy dance**.

You might be wondering why I’m so excited about having gone just one step up from being a #networkmarketing affiliate.

I mean could it not just be taken any time? (this is #network #marketing after all)…is it not stressful maintaining this level in view of how saturated the market is with all sorts of products from competitors?

Before I give some of my justifications for my levels of ecstasy, let me just say, if you know anything about TOTAL LIFE CHANGES then you will know that even being an affiliate is an extremely exciting prospect…. not only because it has products that work instantaneously, are affordable and market themselves but because it is only 4 months old in the country and that means SA is an untapped market making it very profitable to those joining in the 1st 6 months at least. Of course those who joined in it’s first month are far better off. In case you thinking huh ohhhh only 4 months…. let me quickly quail your fears…4 months in South Africa. Total Life Changes is a 17 year old company operating in over 150 countries with a Compensation Plan that’s been awarded as the best globally.

Ok…putting that digression aside….let me tell you why my promotion as a Total Life Changes DIRECTOR means so so so much to me.

Well there are multiple good answers to this question so let me just give those most obvious to me:

  1. Check match…where as before you got 50% commission only on the first order of your newly signed person and only binary earnings of their commission after…which is 10%, this means I will now get the 50% equivalent of their pay check every month…not just that first one.

  2. My binary commission increases from a 10%minimum to 12% minimum to 25% max.

  3. Other network marketing companies strip you of your title when you do not meet targets. Total Life Changes says… you know what LIFE HAPPENS…. we not here to punish you, we want to help you become the best you can possibly be, we are rooting for you….so no stripping of titles…..once a director, you are a director for life.

Just these three reasons make me the happiest person ever… I ain’t going nowhere but up.

I am so fired up and I hope as many of you as possible will get on board and #joinus because #TLCPays.

I joined this company on the 29th Jan, on the 9th of March I made director and made some serious money in the process….it sounds ludicrous even to me.


Fire In The Water by Janice Ross

Fire In The Water by Janice Ross

Coming February 27th!!!

*** Please welcome Janice RosstoJessica Watkins Presents!

Don’t miss her JWP debut! Text the keyword “femistry” to 25827 to get the purchase link sent directly to your phone on the day of the release!




Read the excerpt:CLICK TO READ
Chanel Bissett believed in one fundament truth—the power of love. She’s adored and loved Zachary Marlowe long before she knew what life meant. They’ve built a bond so strong, it was beyond untouchable.

Or so Chanel thought…

Rhys Colburn has always been privileged, wealthy and demanding. He was ready to spend the rest of his life with Maggie Cohn, so that together, they could conquer the world.

Rhys couldn’t be more wrong…

Consistently appearing at the wrong place and wrong time, Chanel and Rhys’ lives began to clash. Every breath, every word, every moment was as if the heavens had shifted the earth so that their paths would cross. Whether faith or destiny, they are pushed to emotional boundaries neither could sustain.

Yet still, hope remained…

Over time, they became stripped of their once known selves. All that was left were shattered pieces of a once upon a time. And after three years with shadows of memories behind, chance pulled them together again.

Finally, love just might emerge. And this time, destiny might be kinder.

Will either take a chance with a stranger or will the past resurface to shatter the possibility?

2016: The Year Of The Big Butt

2016: The Year Of The Big Butt

I haven’t been around my blog for a very long while. And this is the note I want to start on…
By the grace of God, as many of us are reading this post…we will again be reading in 2018. That is in His hands.

Now to my point about my expanded butt…


No matter where you are, who you are, how glam or not you are, on a girl’s night out or workday or love situation:

  • Your mental health is priority.
    Your physical health is priority.
    your emotional health is priority.
    Your self care is priority.
    Your happiness is priority.
    Your existence is priority.
    Don’t ever treat them like an option.

This is the re-commitment I make to myself. No excuses, no procrastination.

2016 was a very lazy year for my health which organically grew into an expanded butt. It was a sad break from the healthy lifestyle and self development pattern that I adopted late 2014 right through early 2016.

As we speak I weighed in at 9.6kgs heavier mid January but I am back at gym, kitchen on point, grinding hard and went 2.4kgs down in the last 7 days having incorporated an amazing new ingredient to my clean eating and gym life. (tell you about it soon)

I don’t blame myself wholeheartedly for my weight issues though, since after some blood tests…the diagnosis came back as very insulin resistant and anemic. We are working through the situation and it’s improving.

All that being said, don’t get me wrong, many people are crying foul about 2016 but for me it was a fantastic year for my relationship, my family, finances.
Many blessings received and re-connections made. I can only thank the Almighty.
I went through a lot of emotional and mental fixing and healing.

So my post is not only to bid farewell to a year that treated me and my own with great panache, but to also voice my personal hopes for 2o17.
I don’t believe in resolutions but I do believe that each year should bring something if not new then different and improved. There must be a purpose served for myself and my family and my community.

I am determined that my resolve will not waiver even in this year. I am working through the specifics of some of my plans but most definitely my community involvement will continue. You will hear a lot more about that in the coming days…

Happy New Year everybody

40 the best  year, 41 even better  

40 the best  year, 41 even better  

Turning 40 was a huge  deal for me. 

It was a ginormous deal.

So much so I had a 2 day birthday bash that’s still mentioned as the best ever for those attended.

That birthday was so important because it marked a turning  point in my life. Up to that point my life had been a  misfit  of blessings and misfortunes  and in the mid to latter  part of  my 30’s my life seemed  to just be marred by endless tears and pain. 

But as my 40th came closer i refused to enter into it with that burden.I didn’t know how it was all to be fixed but within me I knew, enough was enough. So i celebrated.

I had asked God for a change in my situation  and unbeknown to me, there were people praying for me daily too, in agreement. I recently learnt that one lady has had her phone alarm going off at 3AM every morning with mine and hubby’s name to wake her up to pray for my family and it’s been like that for two whole years. Someone living with her just casually mentioned  this  to me and my mind was boggled.

And if I never believed before, now I know and believe  that God answers prayers, he answered even those I was too scared to pray for, even those I didnt know I should pray for but he knew my soul longed for.

As I now turn 41 all I pray for is that more of God’s will for my life, will be done. 

I have been blessed beyond measure in my short life and can only hope that I get to please the heart of Him from whom all my blessings flow.


** i have a feeling ….my best is yet to come**


A Wedding Venue Sponsored…Woop Woop

A Wedding Venue Sponsored…Woop Woop

I have been able to secure a venue which was kindly sponsored byNice By Nature, a much sort after wedding venue in the north of Johannesburg. I am overwhelmed by their generous support.

The catering bill now stands at R20,000.00 ($1395 from $2900).

My little helpers. 🙂 🙂 🙂

Please help us get there, not much time left.

I also had some of the girls over atCalvary Chapel Johannesburglast Saturday.

It was a glorious moment to see the joy in their faces. Makes every bit of begging and spamming and hassling my supporters worthwhile. Spending some time with them I also found out some of the really heartbreaking issues the girls are dealing with such as writing exams and attending rape counselling and raising themselves in a dangerous community.

As if they knew I need the encouragement. I am more than ever committed to helping them in whatever I can.

I can’t wait to see all 45 kids dressed up next Saturday as I will be delivering to all of them at the school on Wednesday.

Church announcements:

I dont think I mentioned it but this campain has been in the church newsletter for a while at Caplvary Chapel.
I just want to say Thank you God for placing me in such a loving community of believers. This project would never have made it this far and have impact on so many without them.

Fundraising with GoGetFunding
We are going live on #CliffCentral 360 Biz Radio Show

We are going live on #CliffCentral 360 Biz Radio Show

Click on the link to stream live:


Click on the image to connect.


This just not have come at a better time.

This morning I heard some bad news from Ms Kotane is the matric HOD. The news requires much even more coverage of this event to make it happen.

The kids are apparently required to pay R500 each towards funding of their farewell. They are not engaging because of affordability and so although we got it on schedule again, the school may cancel for lack of funding for catering and facilities and such. This is same kids who are going to wear second hands gowns because they cannot afford to purchase outfits.

There are about 70 matric pupils X R500 = R34,500.00.

I refuse to believe that we cannot make this happen for them.

These kids must have a farewell come hell or high water. This is not trivial because even though this is not the funding of basic needs like books, there are kids here who will be encouraged and inspired for the rest of their lives. Who will be left believing that society cares about what happens to them and that their is better out there to strive for.

If you would like to pay for a child please leave your details for me and i will get in touch.Contact Form

Please help me get #farnorthhigh ‘s #matric pupils a #matricfarewell.

When God is In Control #MochaPrincessProject

When God is In Control #MochaPrincessProject

With this school #charity drive I honestly feel I’m in a season where #God wants to teach me that when he places something on your heart He just needs a step of faith. He does not need me to have:

-Ready resources & contacts

-A plan

-Or even the skills…

He just needs a willing heart because He is more than able to finish His own work if I am willing to co-labour with him.

As I seek ro work on myself and my relationship with the Lord, my biggest concern was, how will I get this to happen? Especially as sanctification seems to be the buzz word making it’s rounds in my head. Meaning, I have to let go of some things and pheres of influence which I counted on to help me make this happen.

I need not have worried because what I am realising right now is that God has his own army that takes care of His own. If those I relied on are not there, it allows him to demonstrate to me exactly just how big a God He is.

This is what happened at #church yesterday from people who heard about it last Wednesday at #BibleStudy after I shared with two people. I can’t wait to see what happens in the next few weeks. My kids are gonna shine on their day….

Money for 5 girls hair is in the bag. 16 more to go…?.

Some of the stories behind the gowns make me believe even more that this is God’s project. They are testimonies just on their own.
Please continue to donate. There are 21 girls and 25 boys.

Clothes size: 28 -36

Shoe size: 3 – 8


New Strides Made on The #MochaPrincessProject

New Strides Made on The #MochaPrincessProject


Hey everyone.

I am so excited to give this update about the #MochaPrincessProject.

People are responding with great kindness and positive energy to the project. A number of donations have come in and a couple of others have promised. However we have a lot ore needed so please do try and participate. If you are not familiar with the project please read up on it here:

There are a few vital issues which have now been confirmed:

  • The Farewell which had been cancelled by the school has been rescheduled and confirmed for the 26th November.
  • The venue is the Teaspoon and Tankard in Muldersdrift. This is where the Farewell will take place on November 26th.
  • We have at least one designer on board at this point and she has undertaken to design a dress for one of the Top 10 performing girls. We will soon be visiting the school and on my next update I will give you the lowdown on how the competition went. I should have pictures of sketches from the girls as well as they have to draw a sketch of their dream design should they win. Please visit our new sponsor on her blog: The Joburg Blog and show some love.
  • I have roped my very kindhearted pastor in and asked him to help me with a drop off zone. So if you cannot meet with me in the course of the week, then I will be available at church from this Saturday, 22nd October, and every Saturday thereafter from 12PM to 13:30PM up to November 19th. Directions to Calvary Chapel, Honeydew can be found on this link: directions.

To arrange for collection or delivery during the week please leave your contact details here for me:leave-your-details.

  • And another milestone is that we have music for the event paid for by #TheChicMochaQueen with the illustrious and most favourite music maestro DJ Muzi. You can find him on as and perhaps you will recognize him from his regular feature on Morning Live on SABC2.
  • Oh and please go through the list to see what we are in need of. There are a few added items on this revised list such as sponsorship for funds to higher transportation to carry the kids from Zandspruit or the school to the venue.
  • Jen Adams, thank you Mocha Queen for a organizing a radio interview on #CliffCentral for us. People please keep your eyes locked for more details. We are scheduled to be on hair on November 9th.
  • And lastly, this coming Monday I will be putting up some fabulous Clip On Ponytails on the first ever giveaway on my blog so please be on the look out first thing Monday morning.

Please remember that although this may appear to be a frivolous event, it could make all the difference in the world to one child who has never been celebrated for anything in their lives. My mission is to make a difference to as many young adult’s lives as possible but if only one feels celebrated and inspired to make something of themselves beyond high school, that would be enough.

One step at a time we will conquer poverty in our communities as long as we get up and do something.

So please, friends, I implore you to help make this dream happen.


Student Sizes:

We have 21 girls and 25 boys we are looking to dress up real fancy.

Clothing sizes for both are between 28 and 36

Shoes sizes from 3 to 8 with the majority being 4, 5 and 6.


Thank you for dropping in.